Homecoming is supposed to be a memorable night. The photos, the music, the excitement of getting dressed up with friends: all of it should be fun. But each year, I find myself wondering whether some of the dresses being marketed for high school dances have lost sight of where they are meant to be worn.

I have seen hemlines so short that walking, sitting, or dancing without worrying about the dress would be difficult. Some necklines look designed for an adult night out. These are styles sold to teenagers for a school event, and I think it is fair to ask whether that makes sense.

This is a conversation about clothing and context. A high school homecoming dance is different from a nightclub. We recognize that difference when we set expectations for other school events, and we should be able to talk about it here without singling out a girl or making comments about her body.

Guidance without shame

Parents have a part in that conversation. So do the retailers selling these dresses and the schools setting dress codes. If a school has standards, families should know them before they shop. Those standards should be clear, applied fairly, and enforced privately. No student should be publicly embarrassed or sent the message that her body is the problem.

I also want to be careful about a point that often comes up in discussions like this. There are adults who behave inappropriately toward young people. That is the adults’ responsibility, completely. A teenager’s outfit does not cause predatory behavior, and dressing differently is not a guarantee of safety. Protecting students means holding adults accountable and giving young people support when something feels wrong.

None of that prevents us from saying that an outfit can be a poor fit for an occasion. Teenagers are still learning how to make those judgments. They deserve guidance that explains why a choice might work for one setting and not another, rather than a lecture that leaves them feeling ashamed.

Can you enjoy the night in this? Does it feel right for a school dance?

There is plenty of room for homecoming fashion to be beautiful, playful, and expressive. A dress can feel special without making someone spend the whole evening adjusting it. Maybe those are better questions for parents and teens to ask while shopping.

Homecoming should be a chance to celebrate growing up. Part of growing up is learning that what we wear can express who we are while still fitting the place we are going.